I had trouble keeping the tears from falling down my face. I could feel some salt on my lips. Everything else collided on the tip on my chin and fell down on the wooden floor. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror, embarrassed by what I let happen. If nothing else, my eyes were a piercing green that shot right through the dusty image of myself.
The imagery in my head might be overwhelming sometimes. I enjoy sharing it, but the chaotic feel never stops.
We met late afternoon, to study. Crazy to think you could concentrate with one you want so badly. And yet it is happening with us. I turn away for a second and the guilt that is trapped deep inside me comes out to play. His head tilts toward mine and I forget it. Again. Burying it deeper with each look at his face.
He always has a light smile on his face. I say light because I flash my teeth and squint my eyes so much that it is almost as if I will be locked in that facial expression forever. He seemed so happy last night; just talking to me and leaning towards my body. His smile was so wide and honest it brought me joy and pain at the same time.
So, how does one go from that to pulling my hair so tightly I lose all control of my body? Pushing me against a wall and holding tightly onto my neck. The destination hadn't mattered at that point. All that was important is him hearing my body beg for more.
A faint moan coming from his mouth felt more like a purr to my ear. He liked everything that I was doing to him. The way I smiled at him, just a devil to his accomplice, held onto him so tightly making him feel like I will never let go. And if I had a choice, I never would untangle my hands from his body.
As the howling wind hugs the trees in the night, my body dances around to the song of his hands. Piano Sonata No.14 in C Sharp Minor playing in the background. How does one compare the work of Ludwig van Beethoven to the way of showing affection to a woman?
With the mystery and need for him, I hear nothing but the piano faintly playing in the back of my own sanity.