Fear of Love

To think I had writer's block just a week ago. Look at me now. All I want to do is write. Might be all the classical music inspiring me. 

Do my words speak of sadness to ones ears? I would hope not. All I want to do is tell you about the feelings that overwhelm me. Obviously, much of that has been happening in the past few days. 

I listen to all genres out there. From Alternative to World music. They all have at least one artist, one song, or one part of the song that makes me feel something. Whether it is positive or negative it is still a feeling. 

I would love to explain how emotional I am, but you probably noticed by now. If I let a song or a man take over me, that should prove it. Do not think for one second that I usually let men do that to me. I might let myself feel but it is hard to completely take over my stubbornness. The idea that comes with me should be Marina and the Diamonds' song Heartbreaker. We, girls, need to do everything to keep our hearts from breaking. If that means "breaking" men, then let be it. But we all know that doesn't last forever because there comes a man that steals our heart and there is no turning back. Usually it happens with the wrong one. You know my situation, and there is nothing I can do about it. Everyday I fall deeper into this black hole eating me from the inside out. 

I know the right thing to do. But the question is: does my heart consider stopping this the right thing?

So if you are not familiar with the rules to keep you from getting hurt this is how it all goes.

This has helped me from getting seriously hurt (for now). But all the rules break once that kiss feels like, in the words of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight; "your own brand of heroin".

I know, I know. I am in deep shit right now. Even if I feel defeat I will know what I felt was surreal. I guess that is why some of my words seem like pure fiction. I turn it to another realm of real life with my comparisons. 

All that's left to say is; be careful when you kiss someone. They could be the one for you. I do not believe in love at first sight, but a kiss tells a different story. No, I am not in love. That is simply because the mere idea of it scares me. But who knows where this road will take me.