Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Would having respect for myself be too much or too little?
We all know this story is getting more broken by the minute, but unlike my other stories, the next move can't be on me, as much as I would like that. From him texting me as soon as he can to me wondering if he ever will. From admiring my beauty and character to spitting over some of my flaws. The last question is: do I have any respect for myself at all? As my head spins through the night, and these tears are coming dry, I wonder is it all worth it for one man? The one that has so much control of me it feels as if showing my true self will only scare him away more, and the same one that made me feel like I have been treated like shit by other men. Now he is the one throwing me in his to-do pile. I gave in. It feels as if that is all that je truly wanted now, but at first it was because he told me they were taking a break. And that was my time to shine. It was amazing, fireworks inside me, and what could make it better than a dinner afterwards?
An almost perfect night turned into hell for me when he told me he talked to her last night. As I found out almost 24 later, they are not actually takong a break. I feel used, upset, and I want to throw up. No promises were made, we all know that, but for him to jump from one to the other? That is apsurd. 
I am at a point where I am certain he has no respect for me. And I am probably right. Unfortunately, I have to make it through the night without feeling sick wth the image of her where I was the night before. So, help me, I did nothing to deserve this. Why does my choice in men get worse by the day? 

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