Thought Keeper

I might have lost my muse to be left with words unspoken.
Let the warmth sink in as I imagine myself on the beach back home, writing to release all that I feel. Do you ever find yourself inspired by music to a point you are hardly aware of what is going on around you and what universe you belong to? Well, I do.
My muse is further away with every minute. One pull closer to me, and many pushed back to her. I am almost certain I lost in this game of love, where I had so little to give yet I end up with a broken heart. The friend is still as close as ever, but we all know it doesn't feel the same. I am to leave tonight, to see my loving parents and sibling, as there wis much planned not involving my heartache. I learned to deal with it that dull day reminded by its tears and screams with some begging for his affection. Now I get the amount I am not sure I can handle yet I need it.
To be as strange as I am, mess comparing your lost lover to a work by Chopin. Oh, the beautiful tragedy behind that story, if only you knew every detail behind those dark and painful eyes...
There will be much to inspire me as soon as I feel the spring showers pour down on my clothes, and smell the freshly grown flowers linger to the tears of the sky. I am hoping the distance gives me  new view on many things because I could use a new perspective to this life.
I have made some clean decisions regarding many recent happenings, and there is much more I have to learn. The dedication with which I am currently learning languages, reading books, and cleaning up my messes have proved me as decent person, I would say.
Now, I ramble, and talk of thousands of different things through one post. Is it because I have too many things to say? To live by/ I am not sure of that, but I know that as chaotic as it may seem, it is all in a disconnectedly perfect order inside my brain. Let it go, let it go, let it go...