Thursday, April 24, 2014

I Want It All

Days off from writing and I feel like I've been missing a great part of myself.
So, school is officially over. All the finals and last things to turn in are done and there is nothing gore to do or to say. Well, not until May 11th, that is.
I know my name still rings in his ear, and my scent is nothing something that will soon leave his presence. Although I've released myself from love and all the burdens of it, I still feel the same. Don't you think I want to change that as well? 20, and stuck in the same game, losing every turn I have. Well, if anything, I have not cried,  and I have been taking myself as the more important person here by pushing towards becoming something and someone, and not staying nowhere while everyone moves on with their lives.
At this point I am tired. I've made great plans for the next semester, and to be honest, I cannot wait to get on with it. I set some expectations too high but there is no better way in making me do actual work.  Classes including Rhetoric & Writing, Nutrition and a lab, and Western Civilization: Early Europe, all ask for my complete attention through which I will prove myself as someone worthy of going to FIU and becoming a well known blogger (or whatever life throws at me). I need to tell you something though: I need bigger motivation than  what I've had so far because with this much of it nothing will be finished. I can't keep on starting on the right foot and fucking up by end of the semester because that is not how life works. Also, I am leaving back home on Monday and that should be enough inspiration to write to you what I feel, love, and want. I have all I could've ever asked for: now it is up to me to make something out of it.
I think it took me turning 20 to realize all I've done wrong so far. No more excuses, no more filters, I am putting all of me out there and I will get the results I want.

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