Benvenuti

You know that perfect moment when you realize you have found the love of your life?

Well, I do not.

After many posts in the past couple months, I decided it was time to properly introduce myself. My real name is a bonus you get on the sidebat as you read through my "words of wisdom", but I might as well be known to you as Lucy. Think of me as that girl that hates cliches, yet ends up crying when watching a romantic comedy. The one that has as much luck in her love life as she does in writing terrible poetry, and yet here she wrote so much about a man with a girl. Here is the deal: that man is gone, he finally found away out of my World and now instead of spending my time chasig a never-returning love, I let the boys do the chase. Not that I won't be of help but I promise to be a little less of a man when it comes to those things. Right now, college is my life: I am so consumed with it that my freetime is considered going on tumblr on the weekends and studying weeks ahead. Overachiever? I think not.

I want to share with you my feelings: some days in works that showcase much emotion and description, and others might as well be lessons I learn as I walk through the streets of Miami.

I will make a promise to you (though I hate doing so): I will write at least every other day and I hope to bring something soothing, exciting, or helpful in your life.

Stick around, I might be somewhat interesting ✌️

Deep Wounds

Shaking from coffee or from the fact you broke my heart all over again?

The Iliad in my hands, 12:03 AM. Your words seem like a joke through text message, but yet you let them happen. You let it all fall down on me again. A friend? Lover? I beg to differ. The distance scares you yet you give me no choice but to find another to warm my body with one kiss. I am strong until the moment I am weak. Usually in your arms, and only because of you. No blame, but mere appreciation of a fallen god who seems to know just what to do to make me question everything over and over again. I wished to stop making sense and putting your affection into words, right here, and yet your soul i surrounding me and wants nothing away from here. 

So how do you sleep at night if I can't?

So much I want to tell you, 

So many questions I want to ask you.

You let it all fall down on me again. 

Even That Chance

My words turned to ash, and I have been skinned-off from all I need and want.
You were my muse and now it is as though you faded with every part I hate about myself. The irony in this "relationship" has reached a whole new meaning. I wish to watch the leaves shiver as the wind blows them far far away from their home and not care what you did in the past hour because I bet it involved rolling under the sheets with all of her beauty and grace.
Watch as the next few days I use the image of you to inspire the best in me and slowly push you out. Again, a chaos is there, but I am solving it and turning it into something that could be considered beautiful in its own heartbreaking way.
Sometimes I am blocked. My head would freeze in a moment of all this free-writing and shut itself out of this World. My World. The greater purpose to all this is to show you what I feel and see. I would love to talk about men and what they do to me but I would rather tell you how I still do not know what I want to do with myself, and now, without a muse, without any person but myself, to guide these thoughts I am left to ramble and and already write when my classes asked for it. But isn't that sad? Once a writer who could go on forever about every touch, every bump on his perfect body, to staring at the bright light of this screen and wondering what's next? We all need a little help but in different things. I, for one, can only help myself in the messes I make. I would use a metaphor for this but it is pretty self-explanatory. I dream of finding someone new to come into my World as a strong but beautiful perfume would do to a room.
I see something, there, all the way in the back., I am still not sure what it is but it involves many smile exchanges and looks that send happiness through my spine. I guess nothing left to do but wait and see when will his face show clear enough for me to understand it.
But you know what? This has its own beauty. The wait for the unknown. I guess we are all so scared of it that when something doesn't come with ease we find ways to push it away. Maybe if we tried pulling it in for once, and letting it have its affect things wouldn't be as complicated as they always seem.